


The Underground

by sheksmix



Category: DC Extended Universe, Supergirl (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015), Supergirl (TV 2015) RPF, Superwoman - Fandom, supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, College Student Lena Luthor, Drunken Kissing, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I love me some angst, Kara Danvers - Freeform, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara Danvers-centric, Lena Luthor - Freeform, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor-centric, Lesbian Kara Danvers, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Mommy Issues, Past Relationship(s), Protective Alex Danvers, Relationship(s), Sad Lena Luthor, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Student Kara Danvers, Superwoman - Freeform, alex danvers - Freeform, but like come on they're exes it's gonna have a little pull on the heartstrings, it's a giant college au, it's gonna be angsty lemme tell you, maggie sawyer - Freeform, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28907751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheksmix/pseuds/sheksmix
Summary: Kara and Lena are exes who cross paths again only to discover that they both work at the same elite night club... as a stripper and an underground fighter.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Supercorp - Relationship
Comments: 22
Kudos: 78





	1. One

When college kids need a way to make money, they usually deliver pizzas, flip burgers, wait tables, or sell tickets at the theaters. Those jobs are great and all, but compared to what Kara does, they’re… a little mundane, and pay _way less._

Not a lot of people think she has a good job. They’re fair to say it has more cons than pros. After all, it’s guaranteed to get you hurt, it’s dangerous, and--you’ll love this one--it’s _illegal_. 

But that sort of makes it a lot more interesting; for the fighters, the ones placing bets, and the heads managing everything in between. Kara happens to fall in the first category.

A fighter.

Hank likes to brag that she's his best one, that she's even better than the boys he brings in. Kara tries to pay him no mind. It’s probably only because she bring in the most money each night, and he owes that to people underestimating her. Most bet against Kara. They see her and think, _ooh a girl. Easy money_. But eventually, they learn not to underestimate her. 

It all takes place underground in the stripclub on Pacific and Montgomery, placed in the far corner of town as if it was meant to be hidden away. Hank says after he bought the building and finished installing everything, the last thing he needed was a name to complete it.

He turned on the neon lights that accompanied the empty space where the sign should be. It glowed, dark-blue and purplish in hue.

That’s when he decided to name it _Indigo_.

Those who aren’t in on the business don’t suspect much from the place besides pretty girls on the poles and good drinks. But to those in the know, the real fun happens underground.

***

The only time Kara makes eye contact with the other fighter in the ring is at the beginning of the match. Most of the girls that work for Hank are upstairs as strippers, servers, or bartenders. Not a lot of them are down here like her, so most of them are new faces-- _challengers_. 

They give Kara one look, and then she finds out everything there is to know about them. She can tell if they’re ready, excited, scared. She sees how much they want to beat her, how hard they want the money promised to them if they managed to win.

But they usually don’t. It’s rare they ever do.

Once the bell rings, Kara's eyes are on their stomach. At the slightest movement, their core gives them away. She's blocking their punch and throwing her own before it can even come close to touching her.

Challengers aren’t usually much of a challenge at all. But tonight, hers had endurance. She knew how to dodge and block, and she lasted until the eighth round before Kara got annoyed and knocked her out.

People were already out of their seats going wild before she hit the floor of the ring. The overhead speakers declared Kara the winner, but she was already walking off. All she could think about was the 7am class she had to attend the next day

___________________________________________________________________

Lena's alarm was so _damn_ loud.

She slapped it quiet and turned over in bed. She's had to haul some ass for the past couple days juggling shifts and schoolwork (National University can stuff it up their--), but hey it was all worth it.

Now she has more than enough for rent and she could put the rest into savings… or maybe she could go shopping…

Lena pulled the covers over herself, trying to go back to sleep but every time she closed her eyes all she could see was the haze of Indigo’s bluish-purple neon lights, wrapping her legs around poles, and fishing out the cash that eager customers left in her thong.

She opened her weary eyes and forced herself up.

*

Jess has been Lena's #1 since sophomore year of high school and honestly, since then nothing has changed. She’s just as confident, wild at parties, boy crazy, and responsible as she has been since they've met. 

Actually, one thing that did change was her love for tea. 

Jess and Lena had so much coffee during their first year of college that it basically coursed through their veins. Believe it or not, it’s easy to get sick of it when you have it as often as they did.

One of their friends at the cafe on campus introduced them to tea and boba and Lena swore it saved them from their coffee addiction only to throw them into a different one.

The two had some time before their classes started so they went down to the cafe to grab some breakfast. Their usual? BBS baby. Bagel. Breakfast. Sandwiches.

Jess got an everything bagel and Lena's was asiago. Whenever Jess bit into hers, crumbs and toppings scattered everywhere on the table and her lap. It made Lena laugh every single time. 

Something across the room caught her eye. When she recognized who it was, Lena nearly hid under the table to avoid being seen. 

Jess questioned her actions and looked around. “What are you doi--.”

Kara strolled into the cafe and stood in line, eyes on the menu. Lena pulled at Jess’s sleeve, harshly whispering for them to make our great escape, but she yanked her arm away from her grasp.

“Oh will you just _relax_?” she snapped. “There’s plenty of people here. You’re fine.”

She bit into her sandwich, scattering more crumbs and Lena glared at her. 

“We dated for _years_ , we could recognize each other from a mile away!”

Jess gave her a scolding look. “Well maybe if she sees you, you can finally stop avoiding her. Maybe you could even man up and _talk_ to her.”

Lena shook her head. “No, she doesn’t want to talk to me. She hates me! I’d hate me too after the way I broke up with her.”

Jess shrugged. Lena didn’t understand how she could just keep eating during a crisis like this.

“Then you can apologize and you can both move on.” She raised her eyebrows at Lena before she could even try to form her rebuttal. 

Lena rolled her eyes. “You really fuckin suck.”

She kept my eyes on Kara as they stayed in the cafe, somewhat paranoid that her eyes would catch on her like a lit Las Vegas sign against the dark night sky. Lena didn't even know what she'd say to her if they actually ran into each other. 

But eventually, she got her drink and left and Lena was able to breathe a sigh of relief.


	2. Two

Kara was sure she would’ve slept through the day if it wasn’t for Hank calling her.

She didn’t even know what time it was. All she knew was she took notes like a beast this morning and went straight to bed as soon as she got out of class. 

Her ringtone seemed to get louder and louder. She dragged her phone from the bedside table to her ear.

“Boss.”

That’s what she meant to say. But she kind of just whine-mumbled a noise into the phone and hoped he understood. Thankfully he did.

“Check day,” Hank said. His voice sounded even deeper over the phone. “Come and get it before I rip it up. I don’t like having to hold everyone’s stubs in my office.”

Kara hadn't even opened her eyes. She couldn’t fathom getting herself up and leaving the everlasting comfort of her bed.

“Now?” she grumbled.

For a moment, there was a pause. Then she heard a tear, as if Hank had just ripped a piece of paper in half.

“Do you want to come get the rest or do you want me to shred the rest?”

*

The club looks so different in the daylight.

No blaring music, no neon haze, no crazy hollering from those who’ve had lots to drink. It was quiet and empty, save for the bustle of people wiping down tables and sweeping floors. 

Some of the girls were on stage, probably going over tonight’s lineup. Kara observed as they practiced walking out on the platform.

Lena stood beside her colleagues with an absent expression, as if her mind was elsewhere. Kara wondered how she just seemed to be so naturally beautiful. Sometimes, she caught herself staring for too long and she scolded herself for being such a creep.

“Karaaa.”

A few of her fellow fighters dapped her up in greeting. Olsen was probably the tallest one there and Winn was a baby-faced newbie who really knew how to swing a kick.

“Did Hank threaten to rip your guys’ checks too?” Kara asked.

Olsen laughed. “I don’t get what his deal is when it comes to check day. He’s such a perfectionist about it. And it’d be different if we can prep for when he needs us to come get it, but he literally picks a random day to pay everyone properly.”

Winn shrugged. “Ahh, ease up on him. I think it’s a good system. I don’t mind it. We all get paid don’t we?” 

“There you are!” 

Hank’s voice pulled their attention. He placed a rough palm on Olsen’s shoulder and the other on Kara's. “Your shares from the last couple of weeks are inside, come on,” he said.

Kara started working for Hank in the middle of the last school year, and each one of his “pay days” were annoyingly unpatterned. She used to think it was bi-weekly, but then one time he paid them only once in the month, and then after that he paid them every week, and now it’s starting to closely resemble a three-week pay period but with their luck, it’ll change again soon. 

The three of them followed Hank into his office and scanned the layout of envelopes on his desk.

“It’s payday for everyone, huh?” Kara guessed. 

“Yep,” the boss muttered, “but that’s everyday for me.” 

A few of the girls joined them in his office, searching for their envelopes. Hank asked them how practice was going and they commented on its progress. Their presence made Kara nervous. She started eyeing the door. Lena could walk in and then she'd shit herself. 

The boss grabbed a few envelopes on the corner and reviewed them to make sure they were the right ones.  “This is for you, and this is for you” he recited, handing them to his employees.

Once the boys got their shares, they waved goodbye and left. Kara received the envelope with her initials labeled on its surface. The thick wad of cash inside made it feel heavy. She  gave Hank her thanks and hastened to head out, but as soon as she turned around, she immediately bumped into someone.

“Sorry, I didn’t--”

Kara began to apologize, but after seeing her, she seemed to be at a loss for words.

Lena scanned over Kara twice, shocked expression mirroring each other's. Kara thought she’d look away, but her eyes stayed. The shade of green in her irises hadn't changed one bit. Kara tried not to stare, but there she was right in front of her in nothing but a thigh garter and a set of lace underwear,  _ good lord _ .

“Kara,” she greeted in surprise.

Kara didn’t expect to ever hear Lena say her name again. But it sounded the same. She could almost recall the last time they had ever spoken to each other, but its unpleasant memory reminded her of the reason why they had chosen to go their separate ways.

Kara was almost rendered speechless, but she managed to find her voice.

“Lena.”

“What are you doing here?” Lena asked. She was surprised she was able to say anything at all. Her mouth almost hung open when she realized who she had run into.

Before her, Kara shrugged. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Lena never understood how she made a t-shirt and shorts look so good but _fuck_ she felt like fanning herself just being this close to her. “I strip,” Lena said, gesturing to herself and her revealing attire. She was suddenly conscious about her appearance and fought the urge to fix her hair.

Kara held up her envelope. “I uhh.. I fight.”

Lena stared at her with wide eyes. “You’re _underground_? What, do you like to hurt and get hurt just for fun?”

“Of course not,” Kara replied, grinning, “I get paid for it.” She cleared her throat after seeing Lena's silent, scolding expression. “I’m kidding. But I really am in this for the money. I’ve got to pay the bills somehow.”

“I thought your parents were helping you do that,” Lena countered.

Kara's jaw clenched the way it always did when she had to push through something that was hard for her to talk about. “Yeah, but they… it’s a long story.”

The other girls made their way out of Hank’s office and Lena could feel everyone's eyes on them. She could only imagine what they’ve overheard and what kind of questions they were going to ask when they returned to the stage. 

“You coming Lena?” one of them called.

She swiveled towards the door. “Yeah, I’ll catch up with you guys!” she responded, and turned back to Kara.

Lena's knees wanted to buckle and her stomach turned to mush. She always had a soft spot for Kara, even after they had broken up, and she thinks someone just directly punched her there because now it was aching.

“Long story huh?” Lena repeated. “Maybe we can talk about it over coffee.”

Her heart felt like it just leaped off a cliff. But she saw her chance and took it. A crease appeared in Kara’s forehead, right in between her brows. Lena knew she was contemplating her words, but luckily it didn’t take too long.

“Yeah,” she said, “I’d love that.”

Lena's free-falling heart just landed safely on the ground.

“Okay then,” Lena said, exhaling heavily. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath. “Coffee it is.”

_______________________________________________________

When Alex walked into the living room of their apartment, it took her a minute to process the scene. 

Kara was on the couch, throwing back a shot. She made a face as she slammed the glass down next to the bottle of Smirnoff on the table. 

Alex snorted. “What are you doing bro, it’s like ten in the morning.” 

She strolled across the room and headed straight for the fridge in the kitchen. Kara put a hand to her forehead.

“I’m seeing Lena today.”

Alex stopped her search for food and shut the fridge door. “Lena,” she repeated, “You mean your master plan of avoidance didn’t work and you finally ran into each other? I told you it was bound to happen.” 

As much as Alex loved her, she knew Kara could be really stupid sometimes. 

Kara swiveled in place to make a face at her sister. “How were you not there yesterday? Hank threatened all of us if we didn’t drop everything to go get our checks.”

“I got his text earlier,” Alex answered with a shrug, “I think he texts us one group at a time. The servers first, then the bartenders, fighters, and so on y’know?”

Kara stuffed her face in her hands. “Ugh, I swear I believed everyone when they said ups and unders rarely interact.”

Alex made her way over and moved the bottle aside to sit on the table. “Kara,” she called. Kara looked up at Alex, who exhaled slowly. “Look, I still remember when you were trying to get over this girl. That break up took a lot out of you. Are you sure you want anything to do with her again?” she asked.

When Alex met Kara and was given the responsibility of being her older sister, she had to admit, the task was pretty daunting. But they quickly grew accustomed to each other. Kara was a lovable, hilarious, disaster of a best friend and sister who needed to get her shit together.

And she did. But Alex didn’t want Lena to mess that up all over again. When Kara first saw her at Indigo, this was exactly how she reacted. _Exactly;_ Smirnoff and all. Only then, she made a plan to avoid her completely and pretend she didn’t exist. Now things were different.

“I was in love with her,” Kara explained. “We were young, but we talked about building our lives together. All that ended so abruptly… I just…” she sighed. “I need some closure. I think maybe she does too.”

The look in her eyes was too solid, too sure for Alex to doubt her. She straightened up in her seat and crossed her arms.

“Okay,” Alex replied. “Where’s the date?”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> covfefe date

So much has happened in Lena's life since she and Kara broke up and she moved away to Beverly Hills, she don’t know where to begin when Kara got there. _Small talk was a curse made specifically for me,_ she thought. What _would I even say?_

Jess was coaching her on it this morning, but she didn’t think any of it would actually help. Lena shut her eyes to soothe her chaotic mind and sort out her feelings, trying to organize them like a file cabinet.

Seeing Kara was a surprise, a very pleasant one. But that happy feeling was accompanied by a heartache she didn’t know still existed. Maybe this talk would settle that.

“Are you… trying to concentrate on your coffee?”

Lena opened her eyes, and there Kara stood, glancing down at her through those trademark glasses in a neat button-down tucked into her pants, holding a cup of coffee. Her golden hair fell in waves past her shoulders, probably longer than it’s ever been before. Lena wondered if she had gotten taller or more muscular. Something had to be different. She looked _so_ good.

“Just trying to feel cozy,” Lena answered with a small smile.

Kara sat in the chair across from her. These cafe tables were relatively small. If Lena fully stretched out her arm, she'd be able to tap Kara's shoulder with her fingertips. 

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” Kara said. She placed her drink on the table. 

“No, not at all. My classes make me get up so early. I’d really rather sleep in though,” Lena replied. 

Kara nodded, chuckling. “Yeah, I remember. You’re not too much of a morning person.”

For a moment, they did nothing but stare at each other, trying to clear themselves of the disbelief that they were really right here, having coffee at the same table. They broke into nervous giggles and eventually, Kara broke the silence.

“You look good, Lena,” she commented. How have you been?”

The million dollar question. 

“I’m alright,” Lena responded simply, “You?” 

Kara knocked over the first domino and the rest of the chain reaction took place. They talked about college first, and how they both ended up _here_ of all places. She knew Kara was considering several scholarship offers for sports and for writing when they were high school seniors and at the time, Metropolis University and San Francisco State were her first two choices.

She guessed things worked out differently.

“National City University was my third choice,” Kara started, her clear blue eyes drifting as she tried to piece her sentence together. “But… I don’t know, when I visited the campus, it just felt right to me. I knew this was it. This was where I wanted to go.”

It seemed Kara made the right choice. NCU did suit her. And now Lena couldn't imagine her being anywhere else. When Kara ended her sentence, she looked at Lena inquisitively. Now it was her turn, and she knew she had some explaining to do.

Lena started with the summer after senior year when her family moved to Beverly Hills right after graduation. By then, she and Kara were freshly broken up and she was devastated but she did everything to busy herself so she could keep my mind off of her. Still, it didn’t help much.

Loyola was waiting for Lena, and she couldn’t wait to get away from everything and start her first year. But it was… a lot more than she could handle. Kara had a look on her face that seemed like this story sounded familiar to her, and in a way she’s already heard it before.

Her eyebrows knitted together. “Does your mom still…?” 

“Yeah,” Lena responded quickly. She didn’t think either of them wanted her to fully finish the sentence.

Kara put her cup aside so she could cross her arms, leaning on the edge of the table. “So what happened at Loyola?” she asked.

Being a red-and-blue lion was fun for a little while. Lena's life as a student there seemed promising, but she ruined all of that all within a few months. She thought it might have been the worst she's ever experienced depression. 

Kara and Lena have had this conversation before. It didn’t have to be diagnosed for it to be felt, for it to be _real_. Lena's mental health wasn’t usually so bad, but it worsened whenever she had breakdowns. Kara knows. She was there every time Lena was going through it. The ones that happened in Loyola were the only times she wasn’t there with her.

Unfortunately, during that time the breakdowns lasted and kept coming back. Lena couldn't focus on schoolwork and classes and she couldn’t even bring herself to try to catch up to what seemed like an overwhelming mountain that she already felt too defeated to climb.

“My mom didn’t make it any better,” Lena said.

Kara gave her a slow nod. “I didn’t think she would.” Her eyes lowered. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”

Lena clenched her jaw. Besides Jess, Kara was probably the only one who’s known about how hard her mother could be on her sometimes. Lena told her about how worse it’s gotten after they had broken up, especially since she didn’t decide to attend an Ivy league like most of her family had. And worse, she nearly flunked out of every class. 

“If I wasn’t already a disappointment to my mother, then I definitely am now,” Lena commented snidely. 

She was laughing but Kara only smiled slightly. Kara didn’t say anything, but the look in her eyes was enough for Lena to understand that she was ready to scold her for being so mean to herself.

Kara let out a heavy exhale. “I just… wish she didn’t make you feel that way,” she said, “Because you aren’t _that_ .” She blinked hard and shook her head. “See, I can’t even bring myself to say _that word_ because it’s such a grave injustice to who you really are and everything you’ve accomplished and everything you will accomplish and--”

Kara faltered after realizing she was drabbling on about Lena, who prayed that she wasn’t blushing because her face suddenly felt hot. Kara cleared her throat. “Well, just try to remember that you are _never_ that.”

Lena nodded. “Yeah, I know. But it didn’t stop them from cutting me off.”

Kara’s eyes widened. “They what?”

Lena elaborated, but it was only a simple explanation. She messed up, they got mad, they took away her rich girl privilege.

The two paused to refill their drinks. Lena sipping tea eased her nervousness, since it was something tangible that she could hold onto to keep herself from fidgeting. After a while though, she didn’t feel as anxious as she had expected to. Kara always had a comforting presence.

She came back with a slice of coffee cake and two little forks with their drinks. They took turns cutting small pieces out to feed themselves.

“So,” Kara said, mouth full. “That’s probably why you started stripping huh?” She drank it down with her coffee. “How did you even get into stripping anyways?”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “How did _you_ get into illegal underground fighting?” 

Kara shushed her and frantically looked around. “Keep your voice down! And I asked you first.”

Before Indigo, Lena was working three jobs, miserable as all hell. Jess had suggested that she should just be a stripper as a joke, but Lena was already shit out of luck and desperate. Somehow she decided to take Jess seriously.

“Don’t tell me you just walked into Indigo and asked Hank for a job,” Kara said. Lena grinned as Kara shook her head. “No way.”

“I swear, you can ask him,” Lena giggled.

Kara laughed. “Oh my god.”

“It was easier than you think. Isn’t that how it worked for you?” 

Kara shook her head. “Uh.. no, not… not really…” 

Lena's eyes narrowed. “Okay, now I’m curious.”

Before Kara could answer, her phone rang. Lena caught a glimpse of her screen before she excused herself to go answer it

***

Kara answered the phone as she stepped outside and tucked herself into the corner of the cafe entrance, where she stood out of the way.

Usually, she would have let the call go to voicemail but the P.I. she hired was calling and she couldn’t pass it up. It might be something important. It usually was anyway.

“Hey Maggie,” Kara said. “What’s up?”

“Hey, I just got done with processing the files,” she responded. “They should be finalized now. When can I swing by to give you the copies?” 

Kara visualized her schedule for the day and didn’t find anything too pressing. “I should be free later on today. How about I shoot you a text?” she suggested.

On the other end of the line, it sounded like Maggie was shuffling between papers. “Sounds good, Kara,” she replied. “Thanks.”

They said thei goodbyes and Kara headed back inside. Surprisingly, there weren’t a lot of people crowding up the place. It was practically lunchtime and the tables were looking a bit sparse--not that she was complaining; it would be a little awkward to try to catch up with her ex if it was that busy.

Lena put her phone down as Kara reclaimed her seat. 

“Sorry about that,” Kara said, “Uh… where were we?”

Lena quickly finished the sip she took from her cup and Kara realized that she had gotten another refill of their drinks while she was gone. Her coffee was pleasantly hot and she sighed out her thanks, satisfied. 

“You were telling me about how Hank recruited you,” Lena reminded. 

“Ah, right.” Kara nodded and fixed her glasses to keep them from sliding down her nose. “Well, Alex started working for him first. She’s a bar manager now. I thought Indigo was a cool place to hang out in, so that’s where I’d be. One night, this wasted weirdo was harassing someone, so I got to him before the bouncers could. Hank was there; he saw everything. From that day on, I’ve been working for him ever since.”

They sat at that table, talking for what seemed like hours. Lena told Kara about coming to Hank for a job, about how weird she felt when she went back home to her family. She told her about how her brother was and what he was doing now, about what it was like when she was living at Loyola.

Kara told Lena about softball, about the leagues, about her writing. She told her about the dumb things that she, Alex, Winn had been doing together. She told her about befriending the fighters she's gone up against and the classes she actually liked going to. 

Their conversations led them to lose track of time. Lena checked her phone and glanced at Kara. 

“Do you have to go?” she asked.

“I don’t want to,” Lena responded, stuffing her phone in her back pocket. “But yeah, I have class in a bit.”

Kara nodded, suddenly feeling anxious as she thought of how to say goodbye. “Yeah, of course. It was um… this was nice. Thanks for hanging out with me.”

Lena's smile was so dazzling, it made Kara feel disoriented. She stood to her feet and Kara followed, putting on her jacket.

“You still have my number, don’t you?” Lena asked. “I didn’t change it.”

“Oh,” Kara said, “uh--yeah.”

"Okay,” Lena replied. “Text me later then. We can figure out a way to continue this date.”

Kara didn’t quite remember what she said in response, but she waved goodbye as Lena walked away. Kara remained standing in that spot, staring at her empty coffee cup, replaying Lena’s words.

 _Hmm_ she thought.. “ _date.”_


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a catch-up phone call with big bro Lex; a glimpse into what happened between Kara and Lena

When Lena wasn’t having bagels for breakfast, she usually had bacon then a bowl of cereal.

It was a weird combo, she knows. But she was under the curse of wanting sweets right after having something savory, so bacon, then cereal, then she was all set. 

She was getting into her morning routine when Lex called. 

He told her about how his first days at the Corp were going, diving more into detail about intriguing coworker drama and how good the coffee in the break room was rather than the cases, clients, and paperwork that he was so worried about before he started his position.

Everything seemed fine though, and Lena was happy to hear that he was settling in okay.

Once Lex mentioned their dog at home, the conversation centered around the family and it wasn’t long before they started talking about their mother.

“Mom finally went on that trip to Carmel she’s been planning for months,” he said.

Carmel was one of the Luthors’ favorite family vacation destinations. When they were younger, Lex and Lena would collect stickers from the souvenir shop to decorate their bedroom walls. She would go into the _La Boulangerie_ _patisserie_ with her father to share a slice of cheesecake. She and her mother would take pictures by the beautiful flowers that bloomed along the coastline.

Sometimes Lena thought of those moments to look back on happier times. 

“I’m glad she got a break…” Lena paused to let out a deep breath before asking. “How is she anyways? How’s… Mom?”

“She’s good,” Lex replied. “You know Mom. She missed you though.”

“Sure she does,” Lena scoffed, rolling her eyes to call the bluff.

“Hey, stop that,” Lex scolded. “You said you knew she did it for a reason. I thought you made your peace with that.”

Lena thought she did too. She barely had any time to react when her mother eliminated her financial connections. It was a miracle she got her to even pay for housing when she was too busy trying to find a means to provide for herself. She ended up working three jobs, and was so fucking miserable she didn’t know what to do with herself. 

But Lillian Luthor didn’t think about that when she cut Lena off. In fact she still expected Lena to hand in perfect grades, end class with top-of-the-line honors, volunteer and intern at student programs in hospitals, and get that _damn_ business degree. Was it impossible? No. But she still demanded so much of Lena that it was hard to even breathe around her sometimes. 

Jess and Lena’s other friends joked around, suggesting that she should just be a stripper. It was a funny idea at the time, but when Lena put some more thought into it, she realized that it might actually be a good idea. Now, after months of working for Hank, she was glad she made the decision to ask him for a job.

“I understand why,” Lena told Lex. “I deserved it; I was being reckless. But it’s like I can never do enough. Mom always wants me to do so much. And even then, it’s not enough to make her content, let alone fucking happy.”

“I know, Lena.” Lex sighed into his phone. “That’s how I felt when I was at grad school too. But—“

“But you had her full support, and her help,” I interjected. “You weren’t out here busting your ass like I am. And you’re not being constantly compared to me or anyone else, but she’ll compare me to everyone as if it was the only standard. It’s been like that since high school, you know that.”

“Alright,” Lex replied, “that’s fair.” It wasn’t hard for him to notice what was going on between the two most important people in his life. But it _was_ hard to be in the middle of it all, to try to be the peacekeeper and usually fail at it. He did his best to ease Lena. 

“Forget about Mom, alright? She doesn’t get what you’re going through and how hard you’re working. And it isn’t right, how she’s been unfair to you. But you’re doing your best and that’s what matters. You’re going to get there one day.”

Yeah, Lena knew every word he said was cheesily cliche, but it was the reassurance she needed, especially from her brother. If they were right next to each other, she would have squeezed his arm. It was their own little gesture of support that has been in practice for as long as she could remember.

On the other end of the line, it sounded like Lex was rummaging through a bag of chips. “So,” he quipped, “I’m hoping your week is far more interesting than mine.”

Lena snorted. “Funny you say that…” 

She wished she could see his face when she told him about running into Kara. 

Unlike Lena, Lex was a true desperate romantic and the news of reuniting with an old flame got him spewing about true love and fate and Lena had no choice but to sit on her couch and roll her eyes.

Of course, Lex was overprotective of her, his only sister. He never really took a liking to any of her other exes, but when he and Clark became close and she started dating Kara, sometimes Lena came home from practice to find all three of them in the living room playing Mario Kart or 2K. 

It only made the breakup worse.

High school was ending and Kara and Lena were going different ways. The Luthors were relocating to Beverly Hills and Lena was going to Berkeley while Kara was considering multiple offers for her sports scholarships. In those last few months, the two fought constantly.

After a long time contemplating, Lena decided it would be better if they broke up. Going into the first year of college in a relationship was just delaying the inevitable. She would have rathered a clean and mature agreement to part ways instead of an unfledged mid-semester mess. And not to mention the long distance--she had seen first hand what it could do to relationships that weren't ready for it and she didn’t want that to happen between her and Kara.

Of course, when Lena told her, she was furious. 

Lena understood that. Kara had every right to be. She felt like Lena was throwing _them_ away, angry and insulted that Lena wasn’t even confident enough to give them a chance. Lena didn’t want to hear any of it. She had made her mind up, only to realize years later that it was a huge mistake.

“So?” Lex asked. “Do you want to get back together with her?”

Lena’s mind blanked. Honestly, she waited so long for a chance to have any kind of closure and like clockwork, that chance came barreling through her door. Having a rekindled relationship with Kara was the type of thing her mind wandered to when she got lost in her daydreams. 

But now it was real, and Lena didn’t know what to do.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Danvers sisters experience gay panic (TM)

When Alex answered the door, she didn’t expect to find her sister’s cute P.I. to be standing on the other side.

It caught her off guard and her posture stiffened for a moment, but she corrected herself to open the door wider. 

“H-hey, Detective,” she greeted. “Come in.”

Maggie thanked her as she stepped inside.  _ Jersey Shore: Family Vacation _ was playing on the TV and she laughed at the unfolding drama that teased the next episode. It seemed like she had caught Alex right in the middle of the binge.

“Um, I can change it if you want,” Alex offered.

“No, no it’s fine,” Maggie replied. “I’m just here to give Kara some papers. She said she would be here by then. I sent her a text…” She pulled out her phone and scanned over her previous texts to confirm that she hadn’t made a mistake.

Alex leaned against the back of the couch. “Ah, knowing Kara, she’s probably just running a little late,” she explained. “I was going to make some potstickers, but it was a good thing I held off. They would’ve been cold by now.”

Maggie pinched the manila folder between her thumb and pointer finger. 

“Do you like to cook a lot?” she asked.

Alex raised her head as if to say “ _ me?”  _ like she wasn’t the only other person in the room. “Sometimes,” she answered. “It’s a fun hobby to pick up.”

Both of their attention fell on the bustling noise outside in the hallway and the sound of keys undoing a lock. The doorknob turned and Kara stumbled inside, arms full of groceries.

“Sorry, I was picking something up but then I realized I needed a bunch of other things and I thought, ‘well why not? I’m already here so--”

Alex snorted at her sister’s fumbling and helped her with the bags, walking over to the kitchen to place them on the counter.

Now that Kara was here, Alex decided to dismiss herself to her room since she and Maggie had some things to address with each other. She gathered her phone and water bottle from the living room table and shyly waved her goodbye to Maggie. “Nice to see you again, Detective.”

She turned to leave, but Maggie stopped her.

“It’s Alex, right?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Alex responded, glancing at her.

Maggie nodded. She was glad her hands had something to hold onto otherwise she’d feel too awkward for not knowing where to put them. “I know I’m on duty, but it feels too formal when you call me Detective,” she stated. “My name is Maggie.”

Kara stuffed her mouth with chips to keep herself from laughing at Alex’s astonished reaction. If she could take a picture, she would.

“Okay,” Alex said. “Maggie.”

With that, she smiled and walked into her room. Kara was sure she screamed into one of her pillows. 

Maggie held up the folder for Kara to see. “Everything’s in here. Look.”

She took a seat at the kitchen table and emptied its contents. She showed Kara her birth certificate, old school records, copies of her adoption papers, and some photographs of her biological mother.

Kara scanned over the pictures and wondered if there was a likeness between her and the woman who gave her up. It could have been their nose, their sense of style, or maybe even their personalities. 

Or maybe they weren’t similar at all.

“Thanks, Maggie.”

It was the only thing she could bring herself to say. Any doubts she had in the beginning of deciding to hire a P.I. to help her find her mother was long gone now. There were no regrets about attending the university in the same city her mother’s company was in either. But it did make Kara think that if she was willing to go through all this effort, then why was she still hesitating on going to try to meet her?

Kara slid her an envelope with a check inside. The money she earned from Indigo was certainly a big help in the process. But now, Kara had everything she needed to know about her mother. All she had to do was make the move to go see her.

***

Kara begged Hank to schedule her fight as early as he could because she just wanted to get it over with and go to sleep.

She was up all night, studying and stressing over a test that she took earlier this morning. When that was done, she pushed herself awake through the rest of her classes and barely had enough time to nap before having to get up and get ready for her match.

She was grateful to be done for the night, but she was thoroughly exhausted. 

Kara put on her jacket, gathered her things, and made her way upground where she was enveloped by the glowing haze of pink and purple lights. There were a lot of people tonight, which surprised her because it was Sunday, but then she remembered Hank putting out a special like some sort of  _ Old Navy  _ sale and so she continued through the pathway out.

Kara waved goodbye to the bouncers working and politely declined their offer to walk with her. The blaring music faded behind her as she strolled through the doors, but Lena’s voice cut through the air, loud and clear.

“Hey hot shot!”

Kara turned to her as she jogged to catch up. 

“Walk me to my car?”

Kara smiled. “Sure.”

They walked into the chill of the night and Kara stuffed her hands into the pockets of her old varsity jacket while Lena hugged herself to guard against how freezing it was. Kara always thought it was funny how easily she would get cold. Forgetting to bring something to keep her warm was her biggest weakness. 

“So what kind of trouble are you gonna get yourself into now?” Lena asked.

Kara fought the urge to yawn and rub her eyes. “Sleep. Just sleep,” she responded. She couldn’t wait to get home and collapse on her bed. “How about you?”

“Probably the same.”

It wasn’t hard to catch Lena stealing glances at Kara’s jacket. The sewn patches and blue sleeves should’ve been more than familiar to her, since she’s stolen it so many times and wore it around when they were dating. Kara drifted off in her thoughts, remembering the one night she came over to find Lena in her jacket… in  _ only  _ her jacket.

She quickly cleared her head and hoped the blush wasn’t visible on her face.

They reached Lena’s car and she turned it on to blast the heaters inside. Kara resisted the urge to make fun of her, since it was only the beginning of October. When Lena finished, she closed the door and leaned against it, glancing at Kara. 

“I don’t have a lot going on this week besides studying,” she said. “Do you want to get a coffee or something? I did promise I’d continue our date.”

_ Date _ . She said it without hesitation, but Kara couldn’t help but think that maybe she meant it in its other forms. A meeting. A social gathering. One person accompanying another. She avoided every chance of getting her hopes up.

“I have a game on Tuesday,” Kara respond, rubbing the back of her neck, “but if uhh--”

The subject suddenly became sensitive for her, like when a dentist disregarded the nerves that flared out in pain as they poked at your teeth. On the inside, Kara was flinching. It was like they were sixteen again and she was asking Lena for the first time if she wanted to come see her play during her game. They lost 3-2 to Paso Robles that night but Lena took Kara to get some ice cream afterwards and she liked to think of it as their first date.

Kara breathed out. Lena glanced at her like she already knew what Kara was going to ask and had her answer already prepared. Kara shifted her weight from one foot to the other.  _ Why the hell am I having so much trouble getting the words out? _

“If you want to come, we start at five thirty,” she said, “I’m playing center field.”

Lena smiled. “I’ll be there.”

***

National City University won the game, easy peasy.

Kara didn’t do a  _ whole _ lot to contribute to the points or pull off any superstar moves either, but she did pretty well by not striking out or hitting any dingers. She met up with Lena afterwards and her teammates invited them to go find something to eat but Kara decided to pass. She didn’t think she could handle being teased all night and someone was bound to embarrass her in front of Lena. Besides that, something was telling Kara to take advantage of the time she had with her and so she did.

She was glad she trusted her instinct. 

Kara and Lena found themselves at a Ben & Jerry’s, getting scoops of their usual favorite flavors and everything was so familiar.

They walked around with cones in hand, recalling old memories and laughing in between spoonfuls of banana and mocha scoops. They were struggling to contain the volume because now everything was hysterical and Kara came to understand what it meant when people said “you’ll look back at it and laugh one day.”

She was perfectly capable of staying composed when they were in public, but once it was just the two of them in an enclosed space, she started to get nervous. They drove back in her car and Kara was all too mindful of where her hands were at all times.

She kept them on the steering wheel or on her lap, careful for them not to stray too close to Lena’s because she was too afraid of what might happen if they brushed against each other. 

It wasn’t long until they got to Lena’s apartment and Kara walked her there like the proper young lady that she was raised to be. When they reached her door, Kara was suddenly aware of how close they were and once again, she felt her nervousness returning. 

“Thanks for walking me over up,” Lena said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Kara shrugged. “Well, you didn’t have to come to my game either, but you did anyway. Thanks for being there.”

Lena took a step closer and Kara swore she could hear how loud her heart was beating. 

“Of course,” Lena replied. “It’s just like old times. Besides, I did promise you a continuation of our date right?”

There it was again. Kara was happy to hear Lena say it, but she didn’t exactly know what she meant by it and the lack of clarification only left her more confused.

“So I guess we’re even then huh?” Kara asked. “You asked me to get coffee and I asked you to come see me play.”

Lena nodded. “Then that means it’s my turn.”

Kara scoffed, head cocking. “Your turn?”

“Yeah, hotshot,” Lena said as she leaned in closer. Kara stiffened in place, minding how small the gap shrunk between them. The scent of Lena’s hair filled her senses with sweet nostalgia.  Lena’s glance flickered from blue eyes to the lips underneath them. Her voice was low now. “It’s my turn to make a move.”

Kara swallowed hard. They were only separated by inches, their faces so near-meeting, Kara could see the gleam of the gloss on Lena’s lips and it was making the tips of her fingers lose their feeling.

Impulsively, Kara stepped back. “Uh--s-send me a text when you figure out what you want to do!” she stammered, practically running down the walkway. 

_ Oh my god, _ Kara thought as she reached her car and bustled to get inside. The door closed and she let her face fall into the steering wheel.  _ I’m such a fucking idiot. _

Kara drove away, making up her mind that she was never going to show her face to Lena again. When she slowed to stop at a red light, her phone buzzed and she peeked at the screen

_ Lena: WHY DIDN’T YOU KISS ME _

The light turned green and Kara nearly crashed the damn car.

Any misinterpretations she had were now cleared up, but it still left her wondering in disbelief.  _ She actually wanted me to kiss her?  _ Kara’s head spun with a million thoughts, but she sorted them out to get a hold of herself and figure out what to do next.

She had to admit, it made her feel like everything inside her grew wings and flew around wildly. She curled and uncurled her fingers, trying to regain the feeling she lost when they decided to short-out like a dying battery. 

Lena’s effects might have charmed Kara before, but she couldn’t help but feel like things were different this time. Still, if Kara decided to let this continue, what would that eventually lead into…?

Would that mean Lena wanted to get back together?


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes and Kara is conflicted with her emotions. Her past starts to catch up with her

Kara has been seeing Lena’s face more often than anyone else’s, and there was a duality present in her emotions.

She never hated Lena, not even when she ended things with them. Of course, Kara was inconsolably frustrated at what happened but she was even angrier at herself for not hating Lena when she should have.

It was because she  _ couldn’t _ . She was helplessly incapable of it.

Kara spent months in limbo, wishing things could be different, reimagining scenes of the day it happened, wondering if she could have done anything to change it. She’s bruised her skin and bloodied her nose and sustained more injuries than she could remember, but Lena left her in an agony that she thought would never heal.

And then it did. And Kara decided that it was never going to happen to her again.

So how was she supposed to feel when she saw Lena across the campus walking by? How else could she have felt anything other than terror and hope and pain all at once? Even now, when Lena would lean in for a chance of kissing, when she would say the things Kara so badly wanted to hear what feels like a lifetime ago, when she would look at Kara the way she used to, the way she missed… how could Kara just let Lena back into her life?

Kara would see her first thing in the morning, walking to class and then again around lunchtime. They would exchange small glances at Indigo while working and spend the rest of the night at a diner afterwards, laughing in between fries and milkshakes. Sometimes Lena would forget something of hers at Kara’s apartment and Kara had begun to think that Lena did so on purpose so she had an excuse to come back.

Kara didn’t mind it though.

Lena’s even been to most of Kara’s games. But her teammates have noticed the girl at the stands, cheering for her, and that presented a problem. They teased Kara about it so much that even their coach carried it on. 

During a game last week, before Kara stepped up to the plate, the coach said, “hit this one for your girl, Danvers” and the whole team erupted into chaos.

Kara had half the mind to swing the bat on  _ all _ of them.

Eventually, they had their championship game, which Kara was so thankful her team lived to see since they had their ups and downs throughout the season. NCU won it, 3-2 with some incredible hits and catches and just like that, softball was bittersweetly over. 

After they got their bags and the coach cut them loose, Lena rushed to tackle Kara in a hug and that was the first time they’ve touched since high school.

Kara already knew her asshole teammates were going to give her shit for it, but at that moment, she didn’t care. Lena was so excited to congratulate her and Kara was happy to have her there.

***

_ In the walls of Arias Consolidated, a woman takes hold of the local newspaper, the National City Chronicle. _

_ Although she was a businesswoman, the contents of the paper didn’t interest her much, whether it was News, Opinion, or Entertainment. But as she skimmed through each gray packet of black-inked words, something on the front page of the Sports paper caught her eye. _

_ She paused--no, it couldn’t be.  _

_ But there Kara was, pictured, beaming, with the rest of her softball team after a record-making win this past weekend. The woman looked closer, searching for the name to confirm the familiar face. Maybe she was wrong. After all, when she left her daughter behind, all she could see was her face wherever she went. Maybe this was just another one of those times. _

_ No… there it was, right in front of her eyes; second name, third row. _

_ Kara Danvers. _

_ The woman let out a surprised chuckle and sat back in her seat. Kara has grown so much. Still pursuing sports, just as her mother expected she would.  _

_ “Alura?” _

_ The man entered the office and closed the door behind him. He greeted his wife with a kiss and acknowledged the concentrated look on her face by asking her what was on her mind. _

_ Her response barely formed a sentence. Instead, she stammered out a few words, trying to piece together what she had just realized. _

_ “It’s Kara,” she answered him, “... she… she made the front page of the Sports paper. She plays softball for the city’s university.” _

_ The man took a seat beside her. “And you haven’t seen her since you left? Maybe you can go pay her a visit.” _

_ Alura scoffed. “Robert, she’s not going to want to see me.” _

_ Not after all those years of being absent. “What must she think of me?” Alura thought, and the worst of things came to mind. _

_ “How do you know that?” Robert responded. “She’s been without you all this time, maybe she wants to talk to you and catch up on things. It’s worth a chance, and I know you want to do it.” _

_ He was right of course. Not being in her daughter’s life was her biggest regret, but now was her chance to change that. _

_ She only needed to take the first step. _


	7. Seven

When Lena first got into stripping, she fully believed her self-confidence was already high enough. But then she’d put on a hot matching set and some high heels, then go out there feeling like she deserved to be worshipped.

And then she would be. Eager patrons would cheer when they saw Lena on stage, ready to leave green bills in her thong or on her dance platform. It was all too satisfying to leave them breathless when they caught a whiff of her scent as she walked by.

And if the performance high wasn’t enough, the girls Lena worked with sang her praises in all ways of support and they immediately worked their way into her heart. She had never met such kind, helpful, protectively caring people.

When Lena finished her shift for the night, Vanessa linked her arm around hers and they decided to walk out together. The two waved goodbye to the rest of the girls and stopped by Hank’s office on the way out.

“See you later, boss!” Vanessa blurted.

“Hold on!” he called out, bustling towards us. He tapped James on the shoulder and gestured at us. We smiled at our favorite bouncer as he nodded his head in greeting. 

“Walk our ladies to their cars please James,” Hank stated. “And Lena, tell Danvers I need her schedule for next month, will you?” 

“No problem,” I responded, “I’ll let her know.”

Hank displayed a grateful smile. Together, Lena walked with Vanessa and James outside, where the chill night air made her shiver. She buried her hands deeper into her pockets, wishing she was wearing Kara’s old softball hoodie. It was so well-worn and easy to sink into and it retained her smell the best.

“You and Kara are getting awfully close,” Vanessa noted, bringing Lena out of her thoughts.

She smiled and told Vanessa about how much time she and Kara had been spending together, about how she cheered for her during her games and how it felt so much like they were back in high school. She spoke about seeing her almost every day and still wanting more of her. 

Beside them, James groaned. “I gotta hear all this  _ again _ ? Kara’s been talking about the stuff you guys you do too,” he said. “She’s a lot sappier than she seems.”

Knowing that Kara spoke about them in the same way made Lena’s heart skip a beat. 

“She talks about us?” she asked.

Vanessa peered at her. “Well yeah, why wouldn’t she? It’s crazy that you guys met in high school. Must’ve seemed like a lifetime ago. How long have you guys been dating now?”

“Oh I--uh…” Lena stammered, “we aren’t dating…”

Vanessa and James threw their heads back in laughter and Lena sent a frown their way. “What’s so funny?” she prodded. “Does it seem like we are?”

“Of course it does,” Vanessa answered. “I literally wouldn’t have known you  _ weren’t  _ if you didn’t say anything.”

James rolled his eyes. “You guys need to stop playing around. It’s obvious you two want to be together.”

_ Was it really? _ Lena thought. As badly as she did, she wasn’t sure if Kara felt the same way. She knew it might have made her look like an idiot to break up with her only to want her back. But honestly, Lena didn’t care anymore. She’s made her peace with that mistake. After all, here she was trying to fix it.

Vanessa noticed Lena’s silence and the thinking expression on her face.

“You really like her, don’t you?” she said.

“Well…” Lena responded, trailing off, “we were in love once.”

The words tasted bittersweet as they rolled off her tongue. She wondered if there was a way for them to taste like strawberries again.

***

“But you like her don’t you?” Alex asked.

“And you wanna be with her, yeah?” Winn added.

Kara’s face was buried in her hands. She had been talking to Alex and Winn about her love life and how it was going surprisingly well, but something was keeping her from moving forward with Lena and despite the other two asking all these questions, Kara was already sure she knew why.

“I’m just scared,” she stated, lifting her head to look at them. “She’s broken my heart before and I thought I would never recover. But I did. I did, and I’ve been protecting myself to keep it from ever happening again and now look!” Kara threw her hands up in the air. “Now she’s back in my life and I swear I want to give her a chance, but it’s like--it’s like I can’t.”

She slumped over the table and Alex took the seat beside her. 

“Maybe you’re just going a hundred miles an hour,” she said, sorting through Kara’s golden locks. “You’re so worried about what  _ should _ be happening that you aren’t paying attention to what’s happening in the moments unfolding right in front of you. It’s like you’re in a hurry, like there’s a deadline you’re supposed to catch up to. I think you should just slow down and let it play out.”

“She’s right, Kara,” Winn agreed, easing into the chair across from them. “Try to take things slow with Lena. After all, you guys are starting over, aren’t you? It’s not like you’re trying to pick up where you left off. Treat this as a whole new thing.”

Kara sat up crossed her arms, side-eyeing Winn and Alex.

“You know, you guys are a lot wiser than you look,” she chided. It made Winn laugh, but Alex smacked her arm and she pulled back and whined. 

***

Kara was usually good at having her shit together, but after the championship game, she neglected her coach’s texts about getting their stuff out of the locker room.

Of course, that came back to bite her because now she had to go out of her way to retrieve everything, though it wasn’t really a big deal. Plus Kara’s teammate Rachel was in the same situation so at least she wasn’t all by herself.

They met up in front of the stadium and headed inside, catching up on things they’ve been doing since the season ended. Rachel asked her about Lena and Kara had to admit that she got a little giddy while she spoke about her. 

They didn’t spend too long in the locker room. Rachel and Kara gathered their belongings and headed out shortly afterwards, going their separate ways to get to their cars.

When Kara reached the end of the hall, she heard someone call out her name.

She turned around to see a woman standing right outside the stadium entrance, dressed in professional clothing as if she worked in the administration building. Nothing of importance came to mind, but Kara thought that maybe she was a recruiter. 

But a recruiter for  _ what _ , the pro leagues? She was already in a top-tier athletic college. This woman must be here for another reason.

“I don’t know if you even recognize me,” she said, “but I definitely know it’s you.”

Realization seized Kara abruptly and she felt the strength drain from her body. She recognized that face, that distinct way with words, that worried composure. She saw herself in the woman’s expressions and suddenly became sick to her stomach.

“What are you doing here?” Kara demanded. “H-how did you--”

“You’re one amazing hitter,” her mother said. “So good that you made it to the front page of the Chronicle’s Sports paper.” She chuckled with stifled pride, still impressed with such an accomplishment. 

Alura’s eyes scanned over Kara, who felt uncomfortable under her gaze. “Look at you,” she breathed out slowly, sizing her up. “You’re so grown now.”

“Why are you here?” Kara asked. “What do you want from me?”

Alura glanced at her pleadingly. “You’re my  _ daughter _ . I haven’t seen you in ten years. Is it really that bad for me to drop in and say hello?” 

“Drop in and say hello?” Kara repeated, struggling to contain her voice. “I waited  _ eleven  _ years for you to do that!”

Alura held up her hands in defense. “I know you might not want to hear me, or even see me, but I had to take the chance,” she reasoned. “I came here to make things right, Kara.”

Hearing her mother say her own name made the hair on Kara’s neck stand on its end.

“You left me on my own,” Kara said weakly.

Alura shook her head. “I left to make a better life and I wanted you to come with me.”

“Then why didn’t that happen?” Kara asked.

Her mother exhaled roughly, representing the culmination of everything she was feeling. “Yes, I know,” she said. “I’m not here to badmouth the Danvers, or tell you that they’re horrible people. I’ve long since processed my emotions about what happened. They have their faults and I have mine, but we should have kept that between us instead of letting it affect you. I want to make things  _ right  _ with  _ you _ .”

Kara glared at her. “How can you just walk out on me and come back thinking that one conversation can fix everything?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do,” Alura explained. “I’ve tried to come back to see you so many times, but they wouldn’t even let me near you.” 

Kara’s throat was burning. She was at risk for choking out a sob if she made the attempt to say something. 

“Eventually, I gave up hope,” her mother continued. “But I saw you on the front page and I thought it was too good to be true. But now here we are.”

Tears stung Kara’s eyes and she hated it. They were hot and overpowering and one by one, they spilled down her face.

Alura’s eyes were brimming with wetness too. “I don’t exactly know what they’ve told you about me,” she admitted, “but I’m assuming it wasn’t all good. Maybe they told you that we got in a really bad fight, or that I couldn’t take care of you, or I just decided one day to pack up and leave, and never looked back. But it’s time you realized that it was all wrong."

She quickly wiped her eyes while Kara let hers overflow.

“I hope I’m not asking for much, Kara,” Alura said. “Talk to your parents about what’s happened, please. Ask them for the truth--the real truth.”

She pulled something out of her pocket and placed it on the wooden bench beside her. “This is my contact information just in case you decide to give me a chance. I hope I can expect a call soon.”

She turned and walked away, not saying another word.

Kara stood there, frozen, shoulders shaking as she gave into her tears. 


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena gets a break; Kara confronts her parents about the truth

The cafe on campus has been Kara and Lena’s usual spot for dates lately. 

It was where they decided to meet up today, bright and early in the morning before they had to submit to their studies. 

Kara though, seemed to have other things occupying her mind. She would phase in and out of the conversation, all-in at one point and then distant the next. Her responses would be incomplete, like she was half here and half elsewhere. It was too evident for Lena to ignore.

“Are you okay?”

“Hm?” Kara raised her head from the coffee to glance at her. “Oh. Yeah, I’m good.”

Lena arched an eyebrow and Kara questioned her reaction. 

“What?”

“You think I wouldn’t know when something’s bothering you?” Lena asked.

It seemed that finally broke Kara’s resolve. She took a deep breath, as if she had come to the decision to explain her thoughts after being so hesitant with Lena. They used to be able to tell each other anything, but after the breakup, a new wall formed between them. Lena had long accepted that earning that back would be a long road but she was willing to start taking the first few steps.

Kara looked aside. “I’m sorry,” she said, sighing. “Something happened recently, with all of my parents, and I can’t shake it out of my mind.”

_ “...all of my parents…” _

Lena’s eyes widened, intrigued. This was the first time in years that Kara has mentioned anything remotely close about her mom. A thousand things ran through Lena’s head, wondering what could have caused Kara to be so troubled.

On the table, she eyed her hand while Kara’s was resting by her cup. Lena wanted their fingers to brush against each other so they could touch and she could lace them together. Eventually she decided against it and kept her hand in place.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay,” Lena assured, leaning forward on the table. “But I’m right here if you do.” She kept herself as accessible as she could be, ready to offer Kara anything she needed. All Lena wanted was for her to be comfortable with opening up to her again. 

“I want to,” Kara said, “but…” She put a hand to her head as if trying to rub out an oncoming ache. “I haven’t taken the time to process it and now it’s like I can’t really think properly. I don’t know what to do.”

It pulled at Lena to see Kara so distressed while she was helpless to alleviate her. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she replied. The last thing she wanted was to add to her problems. “I hope hanging out today wasn’t asking too much of you.”

Kara lifted her head, blue eyes locking on green ones. She took Lena’s hand into hers, nearly making her choke in surprise.

“No,  _ I’m _ sorry,” Kara explained. “All I’ve been doing on this date so far is just stressing over my problems when we should have been catching up. I’m a little scatterbrained right now, but would it be alright if I have some time to figure everything out? I promise I’ll be in a better state of mind once I do. And then maybe we can meet somewhere other than this coffee shop.”

Lena didn’t so much as blink, staring at Kara in shock. Until this point, she wasn’t even aware that Kara might have shared the same feelings. Now she was starting to think differently.

Lena tightened her grip on Kara’s hand. “Kara, you don’t have to apologize. You can always talk to me, you know that,” she said. 

She watched Kara’s tense shoulders loosened slightly as she took in a breath, trying to relax.

“Thank you, Lena.”

***

When Jeremiah answered the door, he pulled Kara into a giant hug that she was all but unprepared for.

He didn’t seem to notice her rigidity, and neither did Eliza when she had her turn to embrace their daughter. They went on about the pasta Jeremiah made for dinner while Kara was occupied with trying to figure out how to tell them about her birth mother.

At the kitchen table, Kara contributed to the conversation coolly and seamlessly despite being so anxious about the question she knew needed to come out next. They spoke about school and job opportunities and sending pictures of the food to Alex, who was too busy with schoolwork to be present.

The whole time, Kara waited for an impasse, and the opportunity came when they finished their food and began to clean up the table. 

“Look you guys, I uh… there’s something I need to ask you.”

Jeremiah and Eliza exchanged questioning glances as he took their plates to the sink. “What is it, Kara?” she replied.

“Yeah, go for it, kid,” he added over his shoulder.

“Well um…” A rush of thoughts flooded Kara’s head, making her frantic about how she needed to say it. She dismissed them forcefully, convincing herself to just spit it out.

“What really happened between you guys and my mom?”

Neither of her parents seemed to be fazed by her question. “Kara, we’ve been over this a million times,” Eliza said, sighing. “I know it isn’t easy, but--”

“I want the real truth, Mom. I deserve to know.”

Kara didn’t think she meant for it to come out like that, but Jeremiah stopped his actions and turned to her, puzzled. His eyes caught on hers and his expression tensed, like he understood the possible reason for her insistence. Eliza had realized it too.

“You sought her out, didn’t you?” she asked. 

“Actually, she came to me,” Kara explained. She decided to omit the part where she hired a private investigator to help her trace Alura’s steps. “She showed up after I was cleaning out my locker one night. She told me that I was old enough to know what really happened. That at least, I think I am owed.”

Jeremiah’s eyebrows furrowed. “And you believed her?”

Kara shut her eyes and exhaled, opening them again to speak. “Dad, Mom, either you deny her claims and I’ll know you’ve been telling me the truth this whole time or you accept it and stop me from thinking all of these things about her that’s been in my head all the years she was gone.”

Kara didn’t really know what to expect. Her parents could have gotten angry with her, or start telling her that Alura was a liar, reconfirming everything they’ve said about her before. They could have convinced her that what Alura told her was just her attempt of trying to make Kara see the worst in Eliza and Jeremiah. 

But instead, Jeremiah walked back to the table slowly and took his seat beside Eliza, who silently put her hands together. They shared one look before turning to Kara.

“When we adopted you, your mother was in all kinds of trouble,” Eliza stated. “She sold drugs, she had a criminal background... and she was ever around to take proper care of you.”

This was information Kara was already aware of. At first she thought they might have just been tall tales to keep her a safe distance from her mother, but Detective Sawyer’s investigation confirmed that they were true. 

“We were told that she would be in jail for a few years, but…” Jeremiah paused, trying to find the right words. “...then we found out she qualified for parole, and that she made bail. After that, she came while you were at school--”

“What?” Kara interjected. “When?”

“A few times,” Eliza answered. “It happened for weeks. She said she was done with drugs and that she wanted to turn her life around. She was leaving, and she wanted you to come with her.”

“But even if it wasn’t the best decision for me to go with her, you couldn’t be civil? You couldn’t have shared custody?” Kara asked.

“A process like that would have been difficult to achieve,” Jeremiah stated. “We had no way of knowing if she was telling the truth. And we couldn’t take the risk that something might happen to you.”

“Besides,” Eliza added. “The court would have seen Alura’s recent shady background and denied her request. And trying to be civil--”

Her eyelids fluttered and she shook her head as if memories from then resurfaced and she was trying to shoo them away. “Trying to be civil was out of the question,” she continued. “Especially when she showed up at our doorstep almost every day. We threatened to call the police if we ever saw her again.”

Kara fell silent, trying to soak in their words like they were water and she was parched earth. Her lack of a response concerned her parents.

“Kara, please listen to me,” Jeremiah urged. “Everything we did, we did to protect you.”

Kara spread her hands on the table, trying to organize her thoughts. A sudden realization dawned on her and she felt her blood go cold.  _ So she did want me, _ she thought. For once in her life, the abandonment that resonated with the image of her mother began to slip away. All the times she felt unwanted and unloved seemed like false memories and she shut her eyes as if they would disappear from her mind.

“She wanted me to come with her.” 

It came out of Kara like a whisper, like she was losing herself to her thoughts and it was her body that decided to speak. Her parents’ silence was enough for her to acknowledge that the truth she’d been owed all these years had finally been told.

“And all this time, I thought she just abandoned me…” Kara raised her head to look at Eliza and Jeremiah. “You let me believe that for  _ years… _ ”

A heavy sigh escaped Jeremiah. “I’m sorry. We just wanted to keep you from any harm.”

“We love you, Kara,” Eliza said, her voice breaking. “I hope you understand why we did what we had to.”

For a while, Kara sat still. But after time, her body moved like instinct, as if it knew that her mind was too occupied to control it. And Kara was thankful, because it took her outside to her car. 

She pulled out of the driveway and headed down the road. 


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> badass Kara is badass; Hank puts a jerk in his place

Kara didn’t think it was possible for anything else in her life to get possibly worse, but she was so  _ so _ wrong.

Nothing broke through the relationship she had with her parents. Nothing. Because for most of her life, they (along with Alex) were all she had. There was never a reason for her to argue with them unless it was about what they should have for dinner, and even then, it was only playful. 

She didn’t know much about her mother, but what little she knew, she held onto. 

There was an old, worn picture of Alura that Kara kept in the folds of her wallet. Sometimes, Kara took it out to look at it and study her mother’s features, trying to revive the fading memory of her likeness in her head. But the woman in that picture was not the same one who stood before her that day outside the stadium. 

Alura had changed so much and in so many ways, Kara didn’t recognize her even though she had been trying to memorize her face for years. Alura’s dark hair was shorter, her eyes more certain, and she was dressed so… well… there were a few words that came to Kara’s mind. Put-together, content, confident— _ successful. _

Kara was told she was left behind because Alura wanted nothing to do with her, because she wanted more than what had been given to her, because she was selfish and only thought of herself. And Kara believed it all until Alura came to her, begging for a chance, pleading for her to find out the truth.

And so she did. 

One would think that after knowing Alura had never wanted to abandon Kara and that she had intended on taking her daughter with her all along, Kara would be happier with the news, but for some reason the knowledge of its realness made the taste in her mouth turn bitter. 

And that taste only worsened when Kara realized that her parents’ avoidance of honesty led her to believe the worst of her mother… and the worst of herself. She couldn’t stop the recurring thought in her head:  _ if my mother didn’t want me, then what is wrong with me _ ?

Eliza and Jeremiah had called plenty of times to apologize and though Kara acknowledged them, she wasn’t ready to forgive just yet. 

She needed time.

Along with that, releasing her aggressions during the fights underground was a relieving way to lift the growing weight off of her chest. She hadn’t realized she was so pent up until Winn held onto her arms and peered close, saying, “Hey, talk to me. You look like you’re about to snap.”

Kara was so desperate to punch something that there has been an unusual calm harboring her, as if she was capable of uncontrollably unleashing a storm at any moment.

When she walked through Indigo’s main space, she kept her head down just in case Lena was there only to remember that she had the night off. A sense of relief washed over Kara; she definitely wasn’t in the mood to pretend like everything was okay. And even if Lena saw past that facade (like she always did), Indigo wasn’t exactly the perfect place to tell her what was going on.

It seemed Alex knew what was going on in her sister’s head. She squeezed Kara’s shoulder and in turn, Kara gave her a small smile before she walked on and headed downstairs. 

*

_ Something was fueling the raging fire in Kara that led her to tell Hank she was willing to fight in two matches tonight. _

_ He was against it at first, because he worried she might overextend herself and get hurt in the end, and he needed Kara to be in her best shape for the one he had already set up. It was an important match—his best fighter against Maxwell Lord's.  _

_ Maxwell lived his life in the light of neon signs; strip clubs, night clubs, sky lounges, bars, and all the like. He was a promoter, a proprietor, an “entrepreneur” in his words, even though Hank would always have to strain against the urge to roll his eyes whenever Maxwell declared himself as such. He never failed to mention all of his properties in boasting, even to others owning social nightlife spaces and financial partners.  _

_ Hank never had a problem with being proud of one’s success, but Maxwell was a peacock who hungered for nothing but attention and couldn’t stand being beaten in any category, though he’s seceded to whatever he knows he can’t defeat. _

_ Everything was a game to him and it was always the same—a game of who was better. _

_ Maxwell Lord was a pretentious snob, but Hank had to admit, he was good at the night life business. When word spread of Maxwell setting up his own underground fighting ring, however, Hank knew it was only a matter of time before Maxwell would throw a fit.  _

_ Because Hank knew it was one place he could never be beaten. _

_ So when Maxwell decided to set a match between their best fighters, it was Kara’s name that immediately formed in Hank’s head. He knew she had already won the fight before they even finalized the event.  _

_ And she did. _

_ Something was fueling the raging fire in Kara. Something that shadowed her expression and settled in her eyes, something that convinced Hank to agree to her request. That, and Alex’s and Winn’s reassurance. _

_ Lord's fighter didn’t stand a chance. Kara was all too fast and all too skillful. She never was the type to surrender to whatever chaos was looming inside her. Instead, she controlled it like a weapon—and that type of restraint and command only made her all the more lethal. _

_ There wasn’t much of a difference in her second match; it was as if the first was just a warm-up. Kara’s tenacity earned her a higher level of respect among the other fighters, the betters, Hank himself, and everyone watching. The cheers that erupted from the crowds as she walked off the ring was the loudest Hank has ever heard. _

_ And it was well-deserved for his star fighter. _


	10. Ten

_ “So that was your best girl huh?”  _

_ Hank turned around and struggled to hide his scowl when he realized he was in the presence of Maxwell Lord. He feigned a happy greeting and shook Maxwell’s hand, reminding himself to use hand sanitizer immediately afterwards.  _

_ “Not just my best girl,” Hank replied, “my best fighter.” _

_ Maxwell nodded. The print of his shirt was an unflattering pattern against his skin. “And she’s never lost a fight?” he asked.  _

_ Hank chuckled with pride. “Not one.” _

_ Kara hadn’t even had any close calls. All of her wins were in her favor and the most she’s ever had against her were the usual black eye and bloody nose. What else did you expect from a kid who was fighting all her life?  _

_ Lord crossed his arms and smiled, but it was too sleazy to be considered friendly and it made Hank hate looking at his face. “So you’ve got a headstrong, undefeated champion, impossible to bring down,” Maxwell said. “Sounds like a challenge, don’t you think?” _

_ Hank glanced at him, suspicious of the beguiling glint in his eyes. “Careful now,” he warned. “My girl just smacked yours to the floor in less than eight minutes of the fight.” _

_ “You may have put out your best fighter tonight, but I didn’t,” Lord explained. “I had to see what yours was capable of first.” _

_ “Was that really necessary?” Hank asked. To Maxwell, everything was a game that he took way too seriously, and he only accepted one result: for him to end up on top, every single time.  _

_ “Like I said,” Lord stated, “I needed to know what my best fighter would be up against. And I have to say─” He paused to point his finger at Hank, who wanted to slap it away from him. “─she’s good, but I don’t know if she’ll be good enough to beat us.” _

_ Hank held his tongue. He was confident that whatever needed to be said would be delivered by Kara when she became the one left standing after the bell rings. _

***

Kara stood outside the bistro and took in a deep breath before going inside.

Alura’s waving grabbed her attention and she made her way over, passing tables and booths and settling in the seat across from her mother. Kara realized she hadn’t taken another breath since the first one, and she inhaled again as if she was about to submerge underwater. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Alura greeted, putting aside her cup of coffee. She put her hands together and along with the ring, Kara noticed that they were trembling, just slightly. She wondered if that meant her mother was just as nervous as she was.

“Thank you. For reaching out and making plans to have lunch with me. It means more than you know,” Alura stated.

“Yeah, of course,” Kara replied. Her voice was quieter than she had intended it to sound and she cleared my throat, telling herself to raise the volume next time she spoke.

The two started off with some small talk, like how high school went for Kara and how college is now. She talked about sports and how she got to National University, about what she liked to do for fun, and what kind of food she liked to eat. Alura was attentive, and was always curious, which saved them from any awkward pauses or silences since she would be ready to comment or ask another question.

Still, Kara couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was so...  _ forced _ . Even so, she knew going into this that it wasn’t going to be easy, and she’s accepted it. So she decided to bite the bullet. She had to try.

The conversation lulled when they got their food and Kara nearly scarfed down her entire sandwich, realizing then how long it had been since she’d eaten. She wasn’t able to stop thinking about this lunch date with her mother, and her stomach had been empty since they confirmed their meetup. 

“Still a big eater, I see,” Alura said with a small laugh. “Some things never change.”

Kara thought about how her mom must have felt about being able to have a conversation with her over salads and sandwiches after years of being estranged. If anything, she must be so relieved that Kara didn’t hate her the way Alura feared she did.

“How are you sweetie? Really.”

Her words brought Kara out of her thoughts and she shrugged her shoulders in response. “I… I’m fine. I’m just… not sure how to feel about seeing you I guess.”

It was an honest answer. And Kara thought her mom appreciated receiving that more than a faked out reply. 

“Yeah, I can understand that,” Alura said. “But I want to do this. I want to get to know you, and be a presence in your life. We can take it as slow as you need it to be. Is that okay with you?”

Kara blinked down, staring at her refilled cup for a moment, almost absentmindedly. It was difficult for her to process that her mom, who she had been without for so many years, had resurfaced now, just when Kara thought she was finally starting to come to terms with Alura’s absence from her life. 

“Um, I’m not sure,” Kara answered after a while. “I kind of expected that I would never see you again, so for you to kind of just… show up magically and say all the things I wish you said when I was younger has kind of... thrown me off.”

Alura paused to consider her daughter’s words carefully before responding. “Well like I said, I want us to get to know each other. So why don’t we start with that?” Her voice was calm, gentle, as if it would scare Kara away if her tone was anything else. “Little things. I’ve asked you plenty of questions. Would you like to ask me some too?"

“Sure,” Kara agreed.

Kara knew that Alura probably expected to be asked what she did for work, and what her place looked like, and whether or not she liked pickles in her burgers. But those were exactly what she said they were─ _ little things.  _ Kara wanted to know more than that.

She asked Alura what had happened between her and the Danvers, and her story corroborated with what Jeremiah and Eliza told Kara the night she confronted them. Yes, it was something she already knew, but she wanted to hear it one more time, to make sure that she wasn’t going insane, and to make sure she wasn’t being lied to again.

Kara did end up asking Alura what she did for work, and she was proud to tell her that she was a CEO of her own company, which was a bit surprising at first but above anything else, Kara was impressed. Her mother had set out to make something of herself, and that’s exactly what she did.

But there was one more thing Kara wanted to know, and she asked it as she looked at the ring on Alura’s finger.

“Did you get remarried?”

***

After lunch, Kara sat in her car for a while, allowing herself to zone out and think of absolutely nothing.

She didn’t think she would be able to, but she just stared at a lamp post while cars drove by and people walked past, and she probably would have still been doing the same thing if it weren’t for Lena calling her.

“Hello?” Kara answered.

“Hey!” Lena replied. Hearing her voice eased a dull ache in Kara’s chest. “Are you done with lunch? Why don’t you come over and we can figure out what to do for our date today.”

_ Shit.  _ Kara forgot about the plans she made with Lena. It seemed the meet-up with her mom had completely wiped out the contents of her mind, and she deemed it a good enough reason to cancel their plans. Kara didn’t think that Lena deserved the mopey and out-of-it version of herself that she would be giving her if she went to see her.

“Hey uh,” Kara started, rubbing the back of her neck, “I know I promised you a better date tonight, but I kinda had a rough day and I’m not really in the mood to do anything fun, and─”

“Then let’s not talk,” Lena cut in. “My apartment has a pool, how about you come and we swim and forget about things for a little while? We could make cookies afterwards, if you’d like.”

Despite the temptation of wanting to crawl into bed to cocoon herself in her bedsheets, Kara couldn’t help but smile at the sweetness of Lena’s efforts. She always seemed to know the right thing to say and the right thing to do to make Kara feel better. So she decided to take Lena up on her offer.

“Okay,” Kara said, “I’ll see you in a bit then.”


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> swimming and softness

Kara didn’t think she would be having this much fun splashing a pretty girl with water and making her squeal in protest, but here she was proving herself wrong.

She had planned on only floating around with a sunhat covering her face, an attempt to learn how to sleep on the surface of the water, but then Lena brought out floaties and boogie boards and Kara couldn’t resist playing with them.

They took turns tossing a beach ball to each other, playing a game of mini-volleyball and keeping it from touching the water. Kara wasn’t surprised to find that Lena had never lost her competitiveness. 

As great as Kara’s balance usually was, for some reason gravity was stronger today. She’d manage to be upright for a few seconds before the boogie board would shoot out from underneath and she’d fall into the water again. It tired her out quickly, but Lena’s laugh was so lovely to hear and Kara wanted to do everything she could to draw out more of it. 

Lena sat on the edge of the pool, her legs dipping into the water. Kara swam over and rested her arms on the ledge. 

“You know, I’m… actually having a good time,” she said. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Lena replied, smiling down at her. “I told you, I’m here for you anytime you need me. Even if it’s for things like this.”

She looked out to observe as people walked by, placing her hand over her eyes to shield her gaze from the sun. Kara stared at the pool chairs as Lena’s smile replayed in her head, reminding her of why she fell for her in the first place. A familiar ache appeared in Kara’s chest, an echo of the feelings she had for Lena resurfacing after being buried so deeply underneath.

Kara wondered what made Lena so interested in her again, to be so brave to want to try despite all that’s happened between them. After all, it was Lena who decided that they needed to break up. Maybe she had never lost her feelings for Kara at all. Maybe this was just a way for her to right her wrongs. Maybe Lena knew that Kara wanted to try again too.

Either way, she was happy to have Lena in her life again. 

_ I saw my mom, _ Kara wanted to say, but decided against it. It might not be such a good idea to bring Lena into her problems now, right when they’ve only just started to hang out again. But Lena was putting so much effort into spending time with Kara, being so patient, waiting until she decided to open up to her.

Kara thought she deserved that effort back.

*

When Kara and Lena were done splashing around, they deflated the floaties and headed back to Lena’s apartment. 

She may have walked in front of Kara on purpose because Kara found it hard to look at anything other than Lena’s red bikini bottoms. Kara admitted to herself that they did look _ really good _ on her.

The bikini Kara was wearing belonged to Lena too. She was wholly unprepared for a swimming date, but luckily she and Lena were the same size, though Lena was a cup bigger in tops. 

Lena unlocked and opened the door once they reached the apartment. Kara stepped inside, still damp and wrapped in one of Lena’s towels. 

“You can leave everything in my room,” Lena said, pulling her keys from the doorknob. “Just put it in my laundry basket by the window.”

Kara nodded and headed down the hall to the room as Lena followed behind her. The basket was already full, but Lena stuffed it down to make more space for the towels. Kara glanced at her clothes on the bed and debated whether she should just put them back on or ask Lena for a more comfortable set to change into. Eventually, she decided the latter was the better option.

When Kara turned around to ask, she almost choked on her own tongue.

Lena was changing out of her bikini top, keeping her back towards Kara as she tossed it into the basket. Kara couldn’t help but stare at the way the light was gliding over the smoothness of Lena’s shoulder blades and the curve of her waist. Her feet were frozen to the floor, her mind unable to form a single coherent thought. She scolded herself for not being able to look away, but  _ fuck. _

Lena turned her head slightly, a blush appearing on her cheeks. 

“Oh… well, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” she said with a shrug. 

Kara swallowed hard. 

***

Lena can be patient.

She was good at it too, especially when she was trying to win over Kara for the first time back in high school. Kara was so,  _ so  _ painfully oblivious that she didn’t realize Lena was trying to woo her until she had to resort to certain measures by grabbing and pulling Kara close to kiss her.

Lena never wanted to forget the look on her stupid, adorable face.

She had to be patient again when she saw Kara here, and she decided to rekindle what they had lost. Of course, Lena knew that it would take some time to tear down Kara’s walls again, but it was a price that was worth paying when she knew what would await her on the other side.

But how long could she behave when she was all alone in a room with Kara Danvers?

Kara surprised Lena when she had asked to borrow some PJs, and Lena wondered if she had any intent of sleeping over. The mere thought of it made her want to squeal into a pillow. Still though, she kept herself from getting her hopes up.

But suddenly the afternoon bled into evening and they ordered takeout and ate it in the living room with their hair tied up in messy buns. They made cookies successfully even though Lena singed her finger trying to check on them midway. Kara planted a kiss on the burn on Lena’s skin before placing a bandage on it and Lena wanted to scream.

She could have kissed her right then and there. She could have closed the distance between them to press their lips together and remind each other of what they’ve been missing. 

As much as Lena wanted to make a move, she would be reminded of what Kara had been going through with her mom and forget her furtive plans. After all, Kara almost cancelled today’s hangout because of how stressed she’s been. She didn’t need anything to be added to that, especially from Lena.

On the couch, Lena ate her cookie eagerly as they watched something on the TV. She was glad they decided to add another half cup of chocolate chips into the batter they made. The cookies tasted perfe─

“I saw my mom.”

Lena stared at Kara in surprise, shocked at how she broke the silence. For a moment, she contemplated her words, searching for the right thing to say. Kara had finally decided to open up to Lena and she didn’t want to ruin it.

“After all these years?” Lena asked. “What happened?”

Kara explained everything; about how her mom came to her, about finding out what her parents did to make her think that her mom wanted nothing to do with her, meeting up with her mom for lunch and feeling like her whole world was being turned upside down.

She was revealing so much that Lena felt a pang of guilt in her chest. She thought it was selfish of her to complain about being patient, and for wanting to come onto Kara when she was going through so much.

Lena reached out to hold Kara’s hand as she finished speaking. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said. It was an apology, not just for what Kara was going through but also because the last thing she probably needed right now was to see Lena. The feeling of guilt in her chest worsened.

“What I’m going through with my parents…” Kara replied, squeezing Lena’s hand and shutting her eyes tight. “...it makes me feel like everything is spinning and I’m going insane.” When she opened them again, she looked at Lena and sighed. 

“You’re the only thing in my life remaining constant. I like seeing you. You make me feel grounded. Steady.”

Lena laced her fingers through Kara’s, her thumb rubbing a space on the back of Kara’s hand. She was keeping my composure, but she was sure her heart was about to beat right through her ribcage. 

Lena suddenly realized she had spoken too soon when Kara held up their hands and hers was shaking.

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Lena said, and Kara laughed.

“You always shake when you get nervous,” Kara responded.

With their fingers still entwined, Kara pulled Lena’s arm over her, guiding her onto her lap. Her hands, warm and firm, held onto Lena’s waist. Now she was sure her heart was going to fly out of her chest. She put her arms around Kara’s neck, aware of how close together their faces were.

“Thank you, for being you,” Kara said. 

It took every ounce of strength in Lena not to kiss her. Kara pulled Lena close to bury her face in her chest. Lena nestled her nose into Kara’s hair, closing her eyes as she took in the soft sweetness of her scent.

They stayed that way for a while


End file.
